Your Hopes and Dreams: 

Dara Torres, the 41 year old U.S. Olympian swimmer said, "You don't have to put an age limit on your dreams."  In what ways do you consider your heartfelt dreams?  Are you actively working toward them?  You may think of them as the aspirations you had as a child, those hopes you held to for a while and have long since abandoned.  Your dreams may be the desires that you fear to acknowledge (perhaps even to yourself). How do these dreams tie in with your sense of self worth?  Messages that were received as a youngster continue to have incredible power ... and yet, dreams are strong.  What is it that would make your life more fulfilling?  Do you have a sense of it already, or does it seem like you'll never quite understand what is making you feel so confused, depressed or anxious?   

 Therapy can have a way of helping recognize how the dreams of the past might become realized.  There may be obstacles blocking the way.  Injuries from real wounding may need to be addressed and attended to, even if the situation happened long ago.  It may feel difficult to find a way to trust this new ally, the therapist.  In the past, it may have been hard to trust others, so recognize that it may be good to go slowly.  You set the pace. 

There are many new behaviors that are learned in therapy.  You enter the process with a "toolkit" and many existing tools.  For the tasks that have felt too hard for you to handle, we find new tools and add them to your toolkit.  We might sharpen or adjust others, and we may need to fashion some special ones that haven't even been invented!

Gaining awareness is an early goal and taking responsibility is the key to long-lasting change.  Therapy is often the practice ground for new behavior.

Sometimes it's difficult just to be yourself, comfortable in your own skin.  You may have been taught from an early age that pleasing other people is more preferrable than meeting your own needs.  Perhaps you felt bullied, or inadequate to stand up for yourself.  You might have witnessed behaviors which lacked courage or were only self-serving.  The people who raised you may've had ideas about some people that were founded on old hatreds or lack of information.  You might find yourself in a double-bind now; loving your family, but wanting to be more authentic with yourself in the world.  It might feel as if it's too hard a task to find a way to change the way things are.  You might even think you need to change other people!  The change you want starts with YOU.  

Sandy would like to help you become a more authentic you ... to really like yourself, no matter who you are.  This probably means that you would be able to easily feel a full range of emotions and relate to the people around you in satisfying, rewarding ways.  The dreams you have had may be reachable in one form or another.  You needn't go it alone.  

Your Dreams (yes, the sleeping ones):  

Just a few facts first.  All warm-blooded creatures dream.  We dream whether we remember or not.  Sleeping occurs in 90 minute cycles.  At the beginning of a daily sleep period, the R.E.M. (Rapid Eye Movement period) is relatively short as compared to the deep sleep; but as the 90 minute cycles continue, there is progressively more and more R.E.M. relative to deeper sleep.  So, at the end of a sleeping period, a person may have 30 minutes or more of active dream time.  However, it is now understood that R.E.M. is not the only time that dreams are known to occur.   

Dreams are benevolently intentioned messages that are timely, and intended for the dreamer and (it is now recognized) the wider community.  They may speak of very practical matters (like getting something fixed on the car before it malfunctions).  They may speak in metaphor about the health of the physical body.  For some, they speak of the future or defy our sensory understandings.  There is a great power and wisdom within us which tries to make a connection every night.  It may seem silly or frightening.  In fact, most of us have been taught to dismiss them with the message, "... don't worry ... it was ONLY a dream."  Imagine though, that there is more to it than that.

Carl Jung said, “A dream is the theatre in which the dreamer is the scene, the player, the prompter, the producer, the author, the public and the critic.” All aspects of the dream are available to be learned from.

Robert Bosnak, author of “Tracks in the Wilderness of Dreaming” and “A Little Course in Dreams” (among others) said, “The beings in the dream act as if they have their own interior life.”  Sandy promotes an understanding that the subjectivity of a dream is a special gift to the dreamer. The Gestalt (“I AM...” ) methodology helps to widen the horizon on the potential of the dream's message, and deepens its importance and value to the dreamer.

The Gestalt (“the whole”) method of dreamworking is a system that promotes the dreamer's empathic identification with various aspects within the dream. This means the ability to detach from the dream-ego’s point of view and enter into an understanding of the point of view of the “other” (person, place, thing, animal, object, time of day, mood, etc.). 

The understanding of the dream from a variety of perspectives enhances the dreamer's understanding of the message of the dream. Imagine a white wall filled with many masks.  Someone may "Gestalt" the wall in this way: "I am busy, colorful, and full of life."  Someone else may see it differently and say, "I have no peace, they cover me, crowd me.  I feels as if I can't even breathe!"  And yet another person may say, "These are my friends, I am so flat, and so blank.  If it weren't for these friends, no one would even look at me.  I'm grateful for their vibrancy and diversity.  Sometimes I wish I were as colorful as they, but it's my purpose to just give them a place to be unique and wonderful.  I guess I have to be sacrificed for that to happen."  When an aspect of the dream seems to call to the dreamer, it can be very beneficial to attend to it directly.  When using this Gestalt approach, new persepectives are found on the personality of the dreamer.  New information can be understood regarding the message of the dream itself.   It's also very clear that since each person can "Gestalt" something differently than the next person, it is highly important that we recognize that the dreamer is the ONLY one who knows what fits and what doesn't regarding the meanings of their own dreams,  The author is the "Author-ity" of their own dream.

This is the subjective gift from the dream’s image to the dreamer. Only the dreamer can fully know a meaning that is being offered. A therapist is wise to understand this subjectivity and refrain from the temptation to interpret the dream. A therapist who can assist in the process of dreamworking will journey with the dreamer to explore the landscape of the dream and help the dreamer to contain and honor this process of gaining awareness. 

Sandy offers a Dreamwork (Therapy) Group.  It meets for 1½ hours each session. Members share dreams, deepening their understanding of their innermost selves, their methods of operation in the world, and the impact of interacting with one another in the group.  Dr. Montague Ullman's concept for boundaryful dreamworking has had such a widespred acceptance, and has just recently been deepened at the 25th Annual IASD Conference, so this Dreamworking Group will promote a "This being my dream, ..." approach when reflecting impressions to one another.

A small number of dreamers participate in the group under Sandy's facilitation.  Since she is also a Licensed Provider of Continuing Education (#PCE3999), this particular group provides CEUs to Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, and their Interns and Trainees. 

Please call Sandy at 818-780-7619 to inquire about doing Dreamwork, whether in Individual therapy, or in this Group setting. 

Please click here to e-mail your comments or questions to Sandy.